mars•barz

My heart yearns to write what I’m feeling. But my mind regrets these feelings since I feel too much. I want to be better to you, but yet I have accomplished very little with how I’ve been acting or not acting. Every time something bothers me, I develop this lovely avoidance bubble and suddenly I run away from my problems. I leave it alone, hoping it will go away, but instead it grows, like a virus infecting everything around it. All throughout the day, you’re all that I could think about. I accidentally had fallen asleep today, and I dreamed about you. Not anyone else but you, and that hasn’t happened for awhile. Dreaming in general that is. I’ve missed the way that I used to be, but I don’t want to blame it on anything, I will take responsibility for my actions. I just feel so bad because I yelled at you … yelled at you about things that had no origin. I don’t know where it came from, but as I write this my heart pounds a little faster than it did before. I was being greedy, and I’ve been wanting to spend time with you. There just hasn’t been enough free time for just you and me, us.