More Than Words ~ Los Lonely Boys
The moment I woke up, I was stuck between sleep and a dream-like state. I always dream, I’m sure I do. Between the realms of sleep and reality, a part of me can always remember. I can remember dreaming, but I can’t grasp what each dream is about …no matter how hard I try. How can I ever know myself if I try so hard to remember what I dream about? I want to really know what’s on my mind because I don’t even know half the time. I’m stuck in the mind-set that I always need to overload myself and keep myself busy. Well that is what I know. My dreams are never about that. I know they’re not, I can feel it, I would know. Whatever happened to dreaming about hot movie stars and vacations?
I’m not very good at expressing myself when I speak. Writing is more permanent for me, and it gives me more time to gather my thoughts. When I’m faced to shove out an articulate statement, I have some difficulty sometimes. I always want to connect what I say with what the last person says. I can’t really fit my opinion if it doesn’t connect with the last thought of the period before me. I surprise myself sometimes. In english class we were going over the Yellow Wallpaper, which can be torn down to bits and pieces…you’d be surprised how there is to learn about in that short story. But as I was saying, I was able to fit my argument in, and I even was mentioned back and forth throughout the argument. The one thing about English classes is that discussions are necessary. Sometimes I would very much like to sit back and watch the argument, but since I’ve been introduced to how good it is to share my own thoughts, I really don’t mind, I actually kind like it. Thanks Professor Jelen for keeping my interest in my English minor.
Sometimes I feel as if people think that I’m a changed person. I feel people see me as a meaner person. My sarcastic humor has only increased a bit, and I feel I express myself better. Sometimes I get scared though. It scares me when another person doesn’t understand me. Between you and me, I love who I am. I only get scared because I’m afraid of losing, afraid of giving too much, afraid of putting everything out there. I’m afraid of what you think.
Although, I’m looking forward to everything for this spring semester, I am even more excited about summer break. Not to spoil anything if it doesn’t work out, I will update this later. This is exactly what I need. yes. I could just smile all day long now. yes. 
