mars•barz

they’re so scared of letting me shine
But I know that I can make it

You know I see London, I see Sam’s Town
holds my hand and let’s my hair down

This seat is reserved for someone of whom their character is unreserved. Not a fluid leaves their eye as they secretly wish that something more can be heard, seen, lived…all while you see something move down their face. As they attempt to sit, nothing ever changes. It means merely that they have sat. Why leave such important words out, when in reality those words mean the most? As they are said, they confirm, not decline, and if not said, they just leave you wondering.

They just leave you thinking, and that’s even more dangerous.

I came back from work a couple of hours ago. I love how everyone realizes that I need to get homework done, and they let me sit off to the side and finish up homework. I even had someone offer to proofread my paper. My coworkers are always excited to see me, it’s awesome. It really does matter about the people who you work with …they make it worthwhile.

The weather is getting colder and the leaves are already different colors. I’m indifferent about the weather change other than the fact that I need to stop leaving my dorm with wet hair. I’m excited about the snow. I can’t wait to make a snowman and the hot chocolate. Chapped lips hurt though, so there’s one con. But snow is greater than a little chapped lips any day.

Halloween is going to be a blast this year, I’m going to a pretty little bumblebee. Ok so what if the site said it’s a sexy bumblebee costume, I can make anything look innocent…hehe innocently hot

So like the dork that I am, I figured out my schedule for next semester, and I can possibly get Thursday’s off. =D! Instead of taking the usual 17 credits a semester, I’m going to take the normal 14 credits. I’m ahead right now in my major and I can take it easy if I wanted to.

Have I mentioned that I love my floor?

This is such a random entry, I kind of wish it had more focus. I’m still in my uniform, I plan to get out of it soon, but I’ve been easily distracted as you can see.

I’m already excited about next weekend. 2 years…I didn’t want to write about it till then, but I can’t help it. These really have been two amazing years…
=)

Yesterday was an overall bad day. I was in such a negative mood all throughout. First it was dwelling over the fact that I saw someone on courses.umd.edu checking out my grade for one of my classes. They probably thought I didn’t see…but I did. It’s not the grade, it’s the principle. It was also the fact that it was completely disgusting outside. My shirt made me itch. And I was completely drenched from not carrying around my umbrella. Then at the lab, the experiment didn’t go as planned, so we had to restart it. Thankfully she never called me back to come back to help finish it, but that part bummed me out since the prepartion of this experiment is long and time-consuming. I hate seeing my efforts just slip down the drain and come to no use. It’s always loud… I am always in the lounge upstairs…sometimes I wish I could sit in here and work on stuff. I am not getting enough sleep. Sometimes I wish I could take a vacation…far far from here.

Let me start off on a blank slate.

I can’t really explain how it feels to miss a person. It almost feels as if a piece of you is missing. That one piece is built from many different pieces, slowly building every time. Gaining another layer, gaining another picture, gaining a new shape. Every time I go out, I think to myself, oh wow I wish he could be here. I wish he could see me right now, I wish I could see him right now.

From September Upe…

Torn-out sheet from an empty ragged spiral
Smells of fresh cleaned-…
Simplified reactions, complicated life
Contained within a coccoon
Where or what is my catalyst
Get me out
But do I really mean it
Clustered colors of bear souls
Running, roaming, longing for what
Strangers become friends
Friends become strangers
Hand in hand, arm by arm, foot in mouth
All with their faint fantasies
Never that far away
Dependently days move at a rate
All consumed by hours filled
Don’t you wish
Oh I wish too much
And I’ll be blantantly honest
Traditional yet moreso amazing
Let along the best thing ever
Scared never
Stabilized by the uncontained excitement
A contradition in itself
Where I don’t wish, I had
For I have
I’ll jump out this window
Although on the first floor
This torn out sheet is complete
And I’m left amazed to see no
cross-outs, except for a better expression
How strong of a sign is that?