It started off with the hustle and bustle of a wedding day. My dress was beautiful. It was a strapless dress with a turquoise lining coming towards the front. It was simple, but very elegant. My heels were studded with little turquoise stones. No one could see the heels under the dress, but just wearing those heels made me feel even more beautiful.
I went into a bathroom, which was quite large. It was lavished with cream and salmon colors, and decorated with all the finest bathroom supplies. I took a shower, and I don’t really remember anything after that.
I found myself sitting in my room, with a whole bunch of people laying in their beds. There were multiple beds in my room, and my best guess is that we were accomodating them before the wedding. I sat awhile in my bed, I’m not sure exactly what I was thinking about. It’s been a habitual thing for me to lay awake with my laptop at night and start typing away. In my dream, I was laying awake with my laptop, and I remember taking a look at my buddy list, and no one was on-line, which was very strange.
I awoke the next morning feeling distressed. For some reason I had two different rooms in the house. That morning everyone asked me if I was feeling alright. I reached for my laptop, and everyone must have been online. The one person who I wanted to be online was online so I clicked on his name. I had so much to say, that just i.m.ing him wouldn’t be enough. All my other friends were online as well, all not away, they all seemed ready to talk, but I wasn’t ready. And the truth finally came out, which I had never wanted to admit to myself. I found out that he had broken up with me.
Suddenly I was at this huge bathing house, like they had back in the 13th century. Hundreds of people were there with me. It almost seemed like a college graduation, but it just felt too normal, that it couldn’t have been. No one was necessarily excited, or embarrassed. I say embarrassed because we were walking together naked. We started to form a line towards the bathing house which was very open, yet very closed, I can’t really describe it very well, but I can probably draw a picture of it. He was next to me for the beginning, but I had moved up two people in the middle of two friends. I remember talking to both girls. We sat at the bathing house. One of the girls’ accidentally placed her hand on me, thinking I was someone else. We had very similar metallic nail polish. She reached for my hand, and was overly excited about the unplanned matching. For some reason I felt that I had known her, which she had felt as well. We weren’t sure where, but both girls became my friends very quickly as we sat there at the edge of the bathing house. He sat about four feet away from me; I couldn’t help but to look at him at times. I felt a bit estranged because I didn’t really know the girls next to me, even though we had become friends immediately. It’s different to know two people for a few minutes as opposed to knowing two people for years. I missed him. We quickly locked eyes, but I looked down as quickly as I could. I don’t think he took away his glance as quickly as I did, which made me feel good inside. I still felt very poorly though, but I tried to hide it the best I could.
The next thing I knew I was with Lindsey Gottschalk; we were headed towards the top of the hill. We had immediately become wonderful friends. He was just up ahead of us. He kept on looking back at us. We were talking up some nonsense. And then she had brought up something sensitive. And I found myself on the cement starting to cry. And he came back and told her not to talk about it, I’m not sure why, but he did came back to say that. Lindsey helped me up and took me by the arm, and we were headed up the hill towards a shed with various items in it. It actually looked more like a basement the more that I think about it. It was a little messy down there, but I didn’t mind. I found e-mails and letters that I had sent him in the basement. All the key points were written down to the right of the letters. I remember the pictures and words written down so vividly. I was all by myself in the dark basement, I wasn’t up for leaving just yet though. I do remember one thing that happened, but I’m not sure where in the story that part lies. A girl named Alina, I don’t even know her, only from pictures, he had told me that she was coming for the weekend, but she wasn’t here yet. I don’t even remember seeing her throughout the dream. He had come down to where I was, as I had taken a look at the letters. He put his arm across my chest, and I subtly, slowly, and gently put my hand on his arm. Suddenly my two friends from earlier and Lindsey brought me out the room, as a whole bunch of people came walking very hurriedly into the room.
I was happy that I had friends to support me, even if I didn’t know them very well, although it felt that I had known them for years. My memory isn’t that good, but I know by the end of the dream, he came up to me and I just knew …I just knew we were back together. It is mid-day right now, around 11:21 a.m., and the vividness of the dream is slowly drifting. I probably should have written about the ending first, or at least written out the key points first. But I’m glad that I had written out the dream because it just felt so real, the feeling that I felt was real, the loneliness and the sadness I felt were all there. I’m not sure as to why I dreamt about what I did, but it was amazing that I remember so much of it. I just know that from this dream, how much I wouldn’t want any of that to happen because all throughout the dream I was still (and am) very much in love with Derek.
